


Hopelessly, regret

by colorfulcharades



Series: Edgeless Melody [9]
Category: Thunderbolt Fantasy 東離劍遊紀 (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Lang sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, NSFW, Post-coital overthinking, Shang feeling like a sad horny teenager and berating himself for it, babies having a physical reunion after months of not knowing how to cope with their feelings, but they baby, sinful activities ehehe, they dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:08:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22178302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulcharades/pseuds/colorfulcharades
Summary: There was a fire in his mind that Lang himself had ignited, and nobody except him could ever put it out.
Relationships: Rou Fu You | Làng Wū Yáo/Sho Fu Kan | Shāng Bù Huàn
Series: Edgeless Melody [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209291
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Hopelessly, regret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Isabelu_u](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabelu_u/gifts).



In the dead of night, it's blissfully quiet. Along the chamber of two lovers, all that can be heard is a sound of slow breathing.

Only the silver rays of moonlight dance along the walls of a room they were staying in, humid air uncharacteristic for winter nights, scented with lust and desperation.

In the sorrowful hours of the night, a silhouette is seated atop the soft bedsheets, mute, unmoving, and the cold of the room means nothing against his heated skin.

Outside, the wind whistles along. Shang pays no mind to it. The sound reminds him of music, and the music reminds him of the old times, nights spent sleeping beneath the starlit sky, old songs coming alive beside the fireplace, back when they were still travelling together...

Shang never lets those thoughts linger. Reminiscing left a bitter taste in his mouth.

_Somehow, it's always more bitter when you are to blame_.  
  


* * *

There is a restless storm raging in his heart, a feeling he always knew he wouldn't be able to sate.

And, in spite of a warm body sailing in deep slumber beside him, guilt was still eating him alive.

Even more than before.

~~_**You left. How could you? Did you not think he would chase after you to the ends to the world?** _ ~~

That's how it was. They promised, with scars and words unsaid and deafening nights of silence, that they would not leave each other alone.  
_Death or life, for both or for no one. That's what they swore to uphold._  
  


Shang broke the promise. Lang did not.

And yet, in spite of everything, this night still waited for them.  
It waited, and it happened and Shang missed every little second of Lang's body locking with his.

And the guilt, it was insatiable.

* * *

Shang keeps watching him as he sleeps, hair the color of burning flames undone all over the sheets, free from the braids and the jewels and the knots, caressing a pale face unmoving in the first peaceful sleep Lang has had in a while.

With how tired their recent activity has made them, Lang will hopefully be sleeping for quite a while.

He remained still, deep in thought as he caught a bright strand of hair around his finger, letting a bright, almost innocent smile grace his features.

Images he could barely make out in a pleasured blur occupied his thoughts once again.

_It was breathtaking._

Shang almost berated himself for acting immaturely. He was not a boy anymore, and the thought of having sex should not have excited him as much as it did.

But it was _Lang_. It was with Lang, and Lang was always different, always so intent on making Shang feel alive, making him feel human, making him feel loved.

  
  


~~_**"His voice will drive you mad".** _ ~~

And it did, _oh how it did,_ sound after tantalizing sound awakening a burning desire Shang didn't know he possessed anymore, beckoning him over and over again, encouraging him to go on, touch him more, be rougher, faster, _harder-_  
  


He almost slapped himself in the face.

He didn't want to sound like a bother, but such lack of control was pathetic.

And yet, he knew that if Lang wasn't sleeping, that if he looked at him once more with those eyes, with that dark emerald gaze clouded with unquenchable need, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

There was a fire in his mind that Lang himself had ignited, and nobody except him could ever put it out.

He wondered, if this is what it felt like to give your heart to someone, to let those estranged emotions embrace you completely, foolishly, to grow numb from all the feelings of this world at once, possess and be possessed and take and give endlessly and never want anything in the world more than this fire to keep burning until one turns into nothing more than ashes?

It must be that. There was no other thought coming to mind, no other explanation he could embrace because nothing ever felt quite like what he had with Lang.

The honesty, the trust, the raging grief and burning anger and unconditional love and insatiable lust-

**_And oh, how the lust burned._ **

_It feels like a fog obscuring his senses, desire and pleasure and anguish and desperation, and yet he remembers every second, every sound and touch, as if it was happening right at this moment, right before his eyes._

**_"Shang..."_ **

_Sweet. A voice so sweet, he feels he wants to get drunk on it._

**_"-Ah...! Shang...-"_ **

_Hot. Lang's body, burning like the flames, enveloping Shang's entire being._  
_Shang feels the urge to sink into it's warmth completely._  
_His hands hold onto the soft curve of Lang's waist. His hips start moving faster._

**_"Shang... Yes... Shang, please-"_ **  
  
  


_There is a strong grip clinging to his shoulders, fingers drawing crescent moons along his flesh, burning like fire; inside, Shang ignites._

_His hands grip tighter onto the expanse of Lang's bare skin, leaving prominent marks of bliss, sending thunderous shivers down Lang's spine as he arches off the sheets right into his strong embrace._  
_Those hands, that pleasured voice belonging to the only man he was ever capable of loving, the way Shang's hips led him faster as he set a stronger pace, marking him and owning him and doing everything Lang ever dreamed about, their lips meeting to exchange trembling breaths and pleasured whispers._

_Shang bends his body forward, changing the angle to hit that perfect spot, and Lang lets air leave his lips in a pleasured cry._

_Through the haze of the moment taking him deeper into ecstasy, Shang allows himself to whisper._

**_"Beautiful... You're so beautiful..."_ **

_Shang is so close to losing himself._

_His lips find the ticking of a pulse along Lang's neck, and he starts kissing, biting and sucking and marking endlessly, ever so drunk on the taste of his skin, the sound of his pleasured breaths and soft, beautiful moans; the feel of Lang's body pulling him closer, Lang's hips meeting his own as his movements grow erratic, holding tight, so tight, higher, faster, and heaven is so close-_  
  


  
  


* * *

Lang stirs in his sleep, and the movement pulls Shang back to reality.

He notes, with a mind still heavy with straying thoughts and lingering sensations, that the reminiscing of their time together made his body shiver with anticipation, his mind hazed in need of more. He berates himself again, shameful of his mind giving way to pleasure once again, and passes another glance at Lang's sleeping form.

He's not moving. He looks so peaceful.  
Peaceful, like Shang has never seen him ever since they reunited on that rainy evening months ago. 

~~_**Lang.** _ ~~  
~~_**Did you miss me that much?** _ ~~  
  


Shang's own body leaned down, hesitant and with heart thundering in excitement like he was a boy again, before placing a soothing kiss atop his musician's forehead.

_**I promise. I will never leave you alone again.** _  
  


Outside, the wind continues whistling.

  
And once again, he pretends he didn't hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> Been feeling mentally exhausted for a while now, and my writing got rusty, but I hope it's plausible
> 
> Been feelin' like giving the boys a much-deserved workout 👀 
> 
> It's Christmas here in my country, so, merry Chrismtas ShangLang nation I hope the sin's to your liking
> 
> (And Merry Christmas to Isa too, hope you liked it ily💞)


End file.
